290. Parts the First and the Second of
the Twelfth Moonly Letter, to be written by Heather to her brother Arley during the
very first days of the Truelove Evergreen Moon.
Dear Arley,
I saw Cami the other day for a second and she
said you would be home soon. She’s says you’ve done very well and no longer
need any training, and needn’t live away from home any longer. I was very glad
to hear this, because I miss you so. And so does Thistle. And Little Mauel, who
is here by my side asking me what kind of cake I will bake for him this month
says he misses you too.
As I told you, I spent most of last month
observing Uncle Rich and Beau while they were trying to find a baby for Fiona.
But that is not all that happened. There is something I kept back, because I
had to tell you Beau and Uncle Richie’s story first. One morning, while I was
sitting in a window seat there is in my kitchen, watching in my mind how our uncle and my boyfriend
had sailed to Epirus and were having breakfast among the waterlilies of the
Acheron, the Leafies Vinny and Dolphus knocked on the glass of the window I was
sitting by. I immediately opened it and they said, “We found her! Do you want
to give her your approval before we send her to him?”
“Found who?” I asked in surprise.
“We got together, a whole bunch of Leafies
from all over our forest and your garden, because we didn’t think anything good
would come out of Hades. And we decided to beat the matrons to the draw.”
“The matrons?”
“How do you think the syndicate of
child-givers get to have babies to give out?” Vinny asked me. And before I
could answer, he said, “Those ladies one orders babies from? They spend most of
their time searching everywhere for kids to give out. We see them at night in
our forest, heavily cloaked and moving like phantoms, checking trees,
clearings, mounds, even under piles of leaves, searching and searching for newborn fay kids, so they can
give them to fay folk that have ordered some.”
“I had no idea they did that,” I said.
“Most of the kids they get hold of are born
at night. Those that are born by day are more easily spotted by fairies who
want children. You know, if a parentless fay kid under seven appears before you
and you see it, you have a right to it and can carry it off. Of course, if it
is a day or a few days old, it can talk.
And you should ask it if it wishes to be yours. And respect its wishes. But
babies that have been born right in the middle of the night don’t usually talk
yet. And they are not easy to spot unless you are really up close. So most of
these go unclaimed. And the matrons
carry them away if they find them, and take them to folks who ordered a kid.”
“I didn’t know the matrons scoured the woods
by night. I thought they grew the kids they give out in cabbage patches or
among brussels sprouts or something of the sort.”
“No. They grab hold of any newborn fay kid
they see, anywhere they see it. Before it can find itself parents it likes.
That’s why ordered kids are sometimes a little strange, and don’t always seem
to be part of a family, though there are many exceptions.”
“Not if it can talk,” said Dolphus. “Kids
that can talk can’t be taken. That would be kidnapping. Not kids that are a day
or two old or such. Those have escaped the matrons, and can choose their own
parents.”
“And you have found one of those? For Uncle
Richie?”
“Talk to her, and she’ll say she’s willing,”
said Vinny. “She doesn’t look like the sort of child who wants to grow up feral
at all.”
So, filled with curiousity, I allowed Vinny
and Dolphus to escort me to Minced Forest. And there, in a bird’s nest, in a
tree covered with yellowing moss, sat what looked like a little bird fairy,
probably a week or so old.
“How can she have not been taken?” I asked
the Leafies in whispers. Three or four of them had joined Vinny and Dolphus. They had been
watching the bird baby for hours so no one would get to her before we did.
“She doesn’t show herself to just anyone.
Days old babies know how to hide. And they are usually very cautious,” said
Frankie.
“And
choosy. Be careful what you say,” whispered Vinny. “You don’t want to have to
keep her for yourself.”
“Hello, little girl,” I said, letting myself
be seen, “would you like to be my cousin? I’m from an almost always nice family.”
The little girl smiled and said, “You’re
cute. I wouldn’t mind having you for a role model. But to be your cousin I
would need a dad or a mum first.”
“My uncle would love to have you for a
daughter,” I said. “He’s searching desperately for one and he’s a very nice
man.”
“Tell her he’s a big spender who willl spoil
her rotten,” whispered Vinny to me, but I didn’t do that.
“If he is like you,” said the child, “I might
be interested. But shouldn’t I check your uncle out first?”
And the result was that she turned into a
little hummingbird and flew westwards, to check Uncle Richie out.
And that’s not the all of it.
While I wa standing by the nest wondering
what to do next, Grandma Divina suddenly appeared.
“Heather,” she said, “has your boyfriend
returned? Are he and Richie back from where they went?”
“Let me see,” I said. “No, they are just done
having high tea with Uncle Evenfall. And Uncle Evenfall has just become more
than plain friends with the goddess Melinoe. And he is about to walk her dogs
with her around the gardens of his ruins which are infested with his cats.”
“What?” said Grandma. “Evenfall is probably
doing this to keep Richie from flirting with her.”
“Maybe. But I think he really likes this
lady. They seem to have more than deaf cats and mute dogs in common.”
“Whatever! You never know with Evenfall. He
is very secretive about his affairs. Richie and Beau are strolling too?”
“They’re walking home. There’s…this little
hummingbird singing along with Uncle Richie. Grandma, that is a little bird fairy
baby I sent to him. She might like him and want to be his. I don’t think he has
found anything in Hades, and this kid looks nice. Friendly and so.”
“What? But I just sent Rosendo to him!”
“Who is… Rosendo?”
“My hairdresser spotted this parentless little
boy fairy. He can turn into a pink flying squirrel. Not my hairdresser, the
pink child I came to an agreement with.”
“I’m seeing him,” I said.”I can see all this
because I can know everything Beau does if I want to, and I can know everything
he knows.”
“Ah. It’s the same with your Grandpa and me.
But to spite me, he rarely does anything interesting. That’s why he plays so
much golf. And chess. To bore me to
death, so I won’t be watching him. So
two kids are now sizing up Richie? Darling, we have to interfere. We can’t let
them get away.”
And
Grandma and I appeared before Richie and Beau.
“I got here first!” cried Madam Grandma the
Lady Celestial.
“You are here too?” Grandma Divina asked her
sister.
“You thought I woule be at home twirling my
thumbs?”
Yes, she was there. Right behind Uncle
Richie.
Uncle Richie stopped humming and the flowers
that had grown because of him, autumn flowers, mums and fall daisies and
alyssum and petunias and nemesias and last roses and more, vanished and
it was evergreens that demanded our attention, holly everywhere, bushes
of it, and there was mistletoe hanging from the pinetrees.
“Don’t
either of you move!” Grandma Divina yelled at the hummingbird and the
squirrel. “Stay put!”
And they did.
“What have you brought with you from dusty hell, my madcap nephew?” asked our paternal grandma of
our mother’s little brother.
“Nothing, Auntie. No luck! A prophecy spoken to be
rid of me. That’s all I got. Hades failed me. ”
“What is in that hamper, Richie?”
“Oh. Leftovers from…lunch? Breakfast? Brunch?
What was it Beau?”
“There’s more than that in it,” said Beau.
“And in your coat pocket too.”
Beau was beginning to understand what was
happening. Likely he was reading my mind.
Uncle Richie glanced at one of his coat
pockets and saw a little blue lizard was
peeking out of it. Very gently he drew it out and showed it to us.
“You stay put too!” said Grandma Divina to
the lizard. “And whatever is in the basket stays put too!”
And Uncle Richie drew out of the basket the
jar filled with water that held the little green seahorse that had settled on
his shoe while he was picnicing among the waterlilies in the Acheron.
“Is this possible? Four?” snapped Madam
Grandma the Lady Celestial.
“Yes,” said Grandma Divina. “Sister, it’s
exactly what it looks like. Which one is your candidate?”
“Esmeraldo,” said Grandma the Lady Celestial,
pointing at the seahorse. “I immediately saw he was the best being to be had
anywhere near Hades.”
“And who supports the lizard?”
“I have come on my own,” said the lizard
softly, “but I can withdraw quietly if I’m not wanted.”
“Of course you are wanted!” cried both my
grandmothers at the same time. “All four of you! Are there any more? Is this
all there is?”
“I think so,” said Beau, who had been looking
around.
“If there is anyone else, now is the time to
step forward!” shouted the Lady Celestial. “We’re finding parents for all of
you. And now, no more nonsense! Turn into yourselves! ”
And the four little creatures turned into
cute tiny tots.
“Oh! Wow!”
said Uncle Richie, understanding what was going on.
“Now, ask these kids one by one if they want
you for a father or have been disgusted by you,” said Grandma the Lady
Celestial.
“Don’t you call my boy disgusting. He’s
feeding the whole island,” said Grandma Divina.
“I do have to ask you one by one,” said Uncle
Richie to the kids. “But I want you all. I’m an excessive person. I like to
have a lot of everything. I hope you won't break my heart shunning me.”
“I like the way you hum,” spole up the little
fairy who could turn into a purple hummingbird. “Me, you don’t even have to
ask.”
“This is a bold little girl,” said Madam the
Lady Celestial. “Well, that might not be a bad thing.”
“But I do have to ask! To make it formal,”
said Uncle Richie to the child. “Would you like to be my daughter? And if so,
seeing as you can speak, what is your name?”
“I do want to be your daughter. And my name
is Hum,” said the little fairy. “I will be the eldest, because I am a week old,
and I don’t think any of the others is this old.”
“Thank you!” said Uncle Richie dropping to
his knees and there were tears in his eyes. “I have an eldest daughter!" he cried, choking a little. "Who is
next?”
“Me, I think. I’m almost five days old,” said
the boy who could turn into a seahorse. “And I want to be your son, and my name
is Esmeraldo Greengem, but you can call me just Gem.”
And he and Uncle Richie shook hands on it.
And Uncle Richie was crying very visibly, and reached for a handkerchief.
“And do you want to be my child, sweetheart?”
he asked the little fairy girl who could
turn into a blue lizard.
“Yes, and I would be so happy to be that. I thought you
might not want me, or I would have asked you in Capri myself. I’m not very
confident, though I am three days old and look old for my age.”
“This one is a blue fairy. Of the
intellectual kind. Like my Gen’s Mabel. You have an aunt who will want to be your
godmother, dear,” said Grandma Divina.
“Gen is not yours,” said Grandma the Lady
Celestial. “But I don’t think you want to go into that now, do you?”
“Branna is a sort of intellectual too. She is
an astronomer,” said Uncle Richie. “Oh,
will she be delighted when she sees all these kids! And she thought we would
never have any!”
”Get on with it, Richie!” said Grandma the
Lady Celestial. “Snap it up, and ask the littlest one!”
And Uncle Rich asked Rosendo, the flying
squirrel baby boy if he would like to be his fourth child and second son, and
Rosendo, a plump and smiling little creature, said he did. He was a very happy-go-lucky, barely two days old baby who smiled a lot.
Part the Second
Dear brother, I send you this letter with a
second part, rushing, so it will reach you before your return, so you, who work
in information, can do so with a knowledge of things here. Mom’s messenger pigeon, Aldegundus,will carry it to you, for he is quicker than any of mine, and that is
why you will find with it a sheet full of kisses from Mom. We are all very
happy knowing you will be back, but she is positively exultant. I have never
seen her happier.
Our Uncle Richearth’s child-seeking affairs
have not ended as I told you. They have become more complicated, though for
good, I think. Our uncle had our grandmothers and Beau and I accompany him to
his house. He wanted us to be present when he showed Branna what he was
bringing home with him. He feared she might faint and insisted he would need
help, because he had no idea what to do when someone fainted, except go
hysterical and shout for help. But it was Uncle Richie who fainted, not Branna,
when he saw how happy she was, smothering her children with hugs and kisses and he suddenly hollered, “I’ve given my wife everything
anyone needs!” and fell to the floor in a faint, like the man who had made the effort of running the first marathon. But unlike this man, he couldn't die, so he didn't. And Beau had to revive him and
hoist him up while Grandma The Lady Celestial scolded, “Stop it, Richearth! Stop
acting up! You are not to steal the stage every second!” And Beau thought it
would be best to take him outside, to the garden, so he could breathe fresh
air. And Beau did that.
Well, the case is that what Branna did was
quite the opposite of fainting. She became hyperactive and began to make her
home’s nursery larger, throwing down walls with a mallet and speaking
frantically of adding closets and painting the walls with her kids’ favorite
colours, pink, blue, violet and green. Our grandmas called Uncle Gen, and he
arrived immediately with a team of workers and Branna relaxed a little and left things
in their hands, and Grandma Divina also called Alys Possun, the great painter
and occasional interior decorator, who filled the nursery with murals and
trompe-l’oeils. I hope I got that last word right. Each wall celebrated one of
the four elements, and our grandmas began to sing an old song I hadn’t heard
since I was a baby myself.
Fire,
water, air and earth
Are
my elements since birth.
Fire
in my heart throbs,
Fire
in my hair glows,
Water
through my veins flows,
And in my eyes it doth repose.
My
voice is air and in air flies,
Speaks,
laughs, sighs and replies.
Earth
dwelleth in my bones,
Browns
my skin to golden tones.
Now,
watch me leap and twirl and prance,
All
four caught up in life´s dance.
They
got me to sing with them, and Hum joined us humming and thus singing, we turned
the only crib there was in the nursery into four, each with its peculiarities,
Hum’s being a lovely nest of purple morning glories that would open when she
woke and shut when she fell asleep, Gem’s a shell-shaped bed with a sea-water
mattress, Azuline’s a lovely light blue porcelain crib with a forest of
delicate bluebells painted on it, and Rosendo´s a bronze bed with a splendid
sun and its long rays, which would have been the envy of Louis the XIVth.
And
when the nursery was ready and we were all congratulating ourselves on the
great work we had done – my final touch was to add gold and silver guardian
fairy medals to the cribs – well, they called our uncle Richearth shouting out
the windows, so he would come in and see it all. And through the door of the
children’s suite entered, as if a curtain had been raised, the three Eumenides,
leaving us speechless, which made them happy, and behind them, Uncle Wildgale
and Mathilde, and their two girls and three dragons. And there was more,
because behind those who had come in came Atty and Catsheba and the Atshebies and
Pedubastis, their guardian fairy.
“What is the meaning of this?” Grandmother Madam
The Lady Celestial demanded, while Grandma Divina waved and cried out “Helloooooooooo!”
And for an answer to his aunt's question, Uncle Richearth entered
the room last, with a lovely though disturbingly transparent baby in each arm
and said, with a frightened face but a resolute voice, “These are Crown of
Roses and Goldenstar, and yes, I fear they are dead. But I am keeping them
anyway. Any way!”
“Yes!” cried Branna, “Yes, we are!” And she rushed for the babies as if someone
might snatch them from her.
“Don’t call them dead! They are little
ghosts, but spirits like us, after all,” protested Grandma Divina, while Madam Grandma the Lady Celestial shook
her head and muttered, “We do exaggerate, don’t we, Richie? Never enough.”
And Uncle Wildgale said, “Since Branna was
always asking us to give her one of our daughters, and begging Atty to cede her
a couple of his kids, and since neither he nor I would ever do that, well, we
began to feel like we were being stalked by her. And so he and I went to see
the matrons and Atty threatened, though a little late and untimely, to sue them
for having let Jocosa order kids for him if they didn’t solve his brother’s
problem once and for all. While he was doing that, the Eumenides appeared in
Lucina’s office, and said they had already emitted judgement on this particular
case and that they had ruled in Richie’s favor. They informed us and all those
present that they themselves had taken the trouble to find suitable children
for him. They had recalled another case they had been consulted about. There
were in Hades two babies that had become estranged from their parents, mortal
tourists who one night, just like many others, and being in their yacht, had
exceded themselves in their devotion to Dionysus and failed to notice that
their three year old twins’ baby carriage was floating off in the direction of
Anthemoessa. The sea goddess Ran wanted to claim these children, on the grounds
of their parents’ nationalities. But the kids had entered into the territorial
waters of the Anthemoessian Sirens, and had been claimed by them when they
reached shore. The Eumenides had advised the Sirens to give Ran a bag of gold coins, for
she was famously avaricious, and recommended the goddess to take this and
forget to press further for the tots. The sisters decided this under the
conviction that Hades was a better place than Ran’s underwater dungeons. Ran
had mumbled something about this being a hometown decision, but took the bag
and left.
“We know you are fairies and these twins the ghosts
of mortal kids, but we found this merry young man so uncharacteristically
depressed, and taking into account that his wife was once a vampire, we thought
giving him these children would not be a mistake. After all, a boy who
resembles a golden star is not an inadequate child for an astronomer, and a
girl who loves roses, queens among flowers, could be right for a planter. You
are not going to be afraid of these poor creatures, are you, fairy people?”
And Alys Possun, as temperamental as usual, frowned and began to rant, “They’ve ruined my masterpiece! I’ll have to start from zero!”
But Madam Grandmother the Lady Celestial said
that the ceiling was a little bare and that maybe he could do something there.
“For the Estrellito, okay. But what about
Miss Roses? Shall I make her share the earth with Azuline? No, I don’t think
so,” said Mr. Possun, who firmly believed roses were no company for bluebells because they did not look good
together.
“I don’t mind at all!” Azuline offered
immediately.
“Hush, child! It’s foolish to cede territory,”
said Grandma the Lady Celestial.
“There’s no need for sacrifice, dear. Mr.
Possun is very clever, he’ll come up with something. Can't you see that he is a
genius, Azuline?” Grandma Divina told the little blue fairy.
And encouraged by Grandma Divina’s words of
praise and inspired by the suggestions of Grandmother the Lady Celestial, Alys
began to paint stars in the center of the ceiling that shone like lamps of gold,
because that is what they were, and he created planets overgrown with red roses
and others with rings of yellow roses. And Uncle Gen hanged two elaborately wrought silver and gold cribs
up there and at first we feared they would look like those plants some people
hang from ceilings but, though I know it sounds strange, the whole scheme
worked and resulted very interesting.
“It looks like more is more,” said Uncle Gen.
“I hope you won’t take to howling here nights
and keep everyone from shutting an eye,” Madam Grandmother the Lady Celestial
warned the baby twins.
“What is howl?” innocently asked the poor little ghosts, fresh out of the sepulchrally silent fields of asphodels.
“Allow them to remain in their ignorance, Mother,”
advised Uncle Gen.
But Uncle Richie said his kids could howl all
they wanted to, and began to howl himself. But there was no need to make the nursery soundproof, because the twins were more interested in getting to know
their brothers and sisters and cousins than in molesting anyone or paying any
attention to their weird father.
And soon I will be able to wish you a Merry
Christmas in person, Arley.
