120. The Once and Future Binky

The malcontents reached the always open doors of the Prime and Only Ministry of Fairyland. Now it was up to Tyrone Shyboy to park in the Ministry’s lot. There was, there was not, something gleaming before him, reflecting blinding sunlight. He felt he had better step on the brakes of his ruin of a car. He did, and they failed him.This caused a collision with the very badly parked lamp turned automobile that had once belonged to Aladdin. And that provoked an explosion that sent the huge can of  Shyboy oil meant to cure possible casualties through one of the many windows of the Prime and Only Ministry.

         

“I swear I didn’t do this!” cried Batish Afsoon.

And the Persian genie vanished, terrified that he might be accused of bombing the ministry.

After a few minutes of intense chaos and confusion my parents, Heather, Thistle and I appeared on  the scene.

                                        

“What is the meaning of this?” asked Mum, observing the devastation.

                                     

“I don’t think it’s the genie’s fault,” said Ty, shaking his black dreadlocks.  “Don’t go after him. I’ve been telling my uncle for years that I needed a new car. But to no avail. Nobody ever takes me seriously.”

                           

“Then we won’t either,” said Oberon. “We’ll just call this an act of fate.”

“Fine,” said Titania. “Much less trouble. But I think you ought to do something about this mess. After all the idea of a ministry was yours.”

“Will do. We’ll make a list of the casualties and damages. Let’s see. Your glasses are broken, Tyrone. There are splinters stuck all over the place. We have a burnt car and a giant lamp that looks more like an accordion out there. Every window shattered and all the furniture in here upside down. Papers everywhere. And what could be Binky’s head stuck inside a can of oil that I imagine was for the lamp.”   

Mr. Binky, indeed, was the prostrate fellow lying by his desk with his head stuck in the can of Shyboy oil. 

“That wasn’t for the lamp,” said Ty. “That ia a can of my uncle’s heal-it-all ointment. Somebody should remove the can from the head of that poor fellow there, though I’m sure he is sleeping placidly through all this without the least notion of what hit him. It would surprise me if we found him to be dead.”

 “By Og!” cried Dad. “I didn’t think he might be... dead. We so seldom are. What do you think, Titania?”

“I think get that can off his head and find out.”

“If he wasn’t dead before the can hit him, he’s only fast asleep,”explained Tyrone. “The oil my uncle created is far more effective than anesthesia. It not only knocks you out. It also heals wounded mortals and immortals alike while they sleep. What I don’t know is how long it will take for that guy to wake up. That depends on a lot of circumstances.”

Between Ty and Dad they removed the can. Mr. Binky looked awful. He was tainted bright yellow and all oily and his tongue stuck out. He was unconscious, but breathing faintly. Ty and Dad raised his chair from the floor and sat him on it behind his desk. It was like handling a doll.

“The person who is dead,” said Ty, “is my uncle. He must have had a heart attack when he jumped out of the car. You can add him to your list of casualties. The Leafies are all fine.”

“Born survivors,” nodded Dad.

“But we’re in shock,” they said, looking it.

“And all this happened because we expropriated Owl Wood Manse illegaly? Well, Binky was really enthusiastic about building his school in your lot. Pity. I suppose that won’t be possible. We’ll have to return the property to you,” said Dad.

“No!” cried Ty. “It’s perfectly possible. We can reach an agreement this very minute if you like. Now I am the owner and willing to grant you the use of the property for five thousand years in exchange of a new car for me and another for my wife, as long as you allow us to live forever in the basement of whatever you build there. I promise to act kind of like a watchman whenever I don’t feel like spending the night out. We would like it if you tried to save and repair the building instead of knocking it down and building a new one. It’s large and would make a good school. Am I being reasonable?”

“No! You’re being magnanimous! If we ever do get to inagurate the school, I promise to put a statue of you in the garden. I can’t name the place after you because we promised another donor, a filthy rich little baby, that honor.

That settled, Dad told Mum they could leave.

“What do you mean we’re done here?” snapped Mum. “This place is a mess! Who is going to clean it up?”

“Listen, I just handled the real estate problem. Tell your people to do the cleaning up. Call Cobweb and her staff.”

“Certainly not! This will remain as it is if you don’t clean up!”

“Well, so it will. Binky will restore it to its forner splendor when he comes to.”

“If you like, I can remove part of the junk,” offered Ty. “I’ll tow the remains of my car and the dented lamp that’s stuck in it home with me if you give me my new car now.”

Dad asked Ty if he minded the cars being limousines.Ty didn’t mind and got a black limousine for himself and a white one for his wife. Puck was to drive the white one following Ty. Dad also had Puck check the brakes of both cars before giving Ty the keys. Needless to say they were parked very carefully before being loaded. Mr. Lonefellow was laid on the back seats of the black car with their seatbelts holding him fast and the Leafies leapt into that car to accompay him back home.

Everybody then left the scene except for my sisters Heather and Thistle Neither of these girls can bear to see a mess without doing at least a little something about it.

“We can’t leave Mr. Binky here like this,” said Heather.

“Maybe we can grow spiny plants all around the place so no one will dare enter,” said Thistle.

“Yes, but we’ll take Mr. Binky to Apple Island. There he will at least be among people who know him when he wakes. The Leafies said this liquid can provoke temporal amnesia and other mental disorders.”

And my sisters took Prime Minister Binky to Apple Island by barge, like the wounded Once and Future King had been taken to Avalon before him.