123. Mushrooms in What Looks Like Mucus

“Hi, Mr. Blake,” said Alpin.

He was at the wise witch Sabatica’s ideal home, raiding her fridge and cupboards. The usually immaculate kitchen was full of empty containers and wrappers strewn all about.

“See that red cupboard over there? It was full of all kinds of mushrooms. Sabatica has lots of  great recipes. Some mushrooms would have tasted better if I had taken the time to cook them, but I was too hungry for that.”

Alpin showed Mr. Blake a glass jar full of brown mushrooms of small sizes. 

                 

“I’m struggling to open this. I don’t want to just break the jar. The glass might get mixed with the mushrooms. I don’t eat glass.”

“Thank heavens!” exclaimed Mr. Blake. “Thank heavens there’s something you don’t eat!”

“Can you open it for me?”

“Why not?” said Mr. Blake. “I don’t think anyone will miss it in the surrounding chaos. Where is Sabatica?”

                                 

“Ugh!” said Alpin, pouring the contents of the jar into a bowl shaped like a curled up green leaf. “These mushrooms are floating in an eeky syrup. It looks as if they are swimming in mucus!”

“It’s very clear, very pure and utterly uninfected,” said Mr. Blake peering at the liquid that the mushrooms were preserved in.

“You know, Mr. Blake, I have a professional mushroom picker’s permit. Some time ago I ate some undocumented mushrooms without thinking twice because I didn’t know any better and had a serious problem. My mother made me take an advanced course offered by the EMS.”

“EMS?” asked Mr. Blake.

“Elfin Mycological Society. That’s the most prestigious club of mushroom fans to be found in any known world. There is nothing they don’t know about mushrooms. The truth is I wasn’t much impressed with them. They are rather mean people who only gather a gallon of mushrooms per day and per person when they are out picking in forests. As for these mushrooms, I know they will taste good if I don’t mind the revolting syrup.”

“Child, have you any idea where Michael and Sabatica are?”

“Food is a very serious matter,” said Alpin. “I am convinced the day will come when nobody will speak of anything else but eating. Not even football. By the way, are you attracted or repelled by this syrup?

“This isn’t going to be easy,” muttered Mr. Blake.