“My mummy and daddy,
the baby and I
Had an egg for dinner,
We left over half.
And absolutely no one got to touch the top!”
Mr. Blake continued to follw Alpin night and
day, day and night, to the deserted homes of many people who seemed to have
vanished into thin air. He hoped to find a clue somewhere, or that
Alpin would say something that would give him an idea of what could have
happened to the missing folk. But all Alpin did was eat whatever he found and
sing songs about food.
“Either the cute ditty I have just sung is the silliest
song or that was a gigantic egg they were eating. What do you know about
dinosaur eggs, Mr. Blake? I’ve always wanted to taste them. They’re bound to be
the biggest eggs, eh?”
Mr. Blake did not say dragon’s eggs might be
bigger. He didn’t want to have to chase after Alpin when he went to fight
dragons for their eggs.
“Maybe the Goodley Book of Records knows where
I can find the biggest egg there is. I deserve that egg. I would do it
justice.”
“Justice? If there were justice...” Mr. Blake
did not finish this sentence. “Tell me what you know about the missing people,”
he said instead.
“Soft-boiled. I would eat the biggest egg ever
soft-boiled. Do you know how to eat soft-boiled eggs properly, Blakey? Not
everyone does. You have to cut off the top with a special kind of scissors. Do
you know which end of an egg is the top?”
Mr. Blake shook his head in desperation. Alpin
thought he was saying he didn’t know which was the top end of an egg.
“It’s the pointy end. Do you think there are
egg-cutting scissors big enough to cut the worlds’ largest egg? Or has nobody
thought of having them made? Where can I have them made? Maybe I should ask for
a pair for Christmas. That way I won’t have to trouble about finding someone to
make them for me. What are you going to get for Christmas, Mr. Blake? Something
I might like to have?”
“What makes you think you are going to get
gifts for Christmas? There is no one left to give you any. Your whole family is
missing. I don’t know if you have friends, but they are probably missing too.”
“You know what? Nobody needs to give me
anything. The gifts all these missing people were going to receive were
probably ordered already before they disappeared. And if they are not here to
receive them, why shouldn’t I get to keep them? There’s only me left to enjoy
everything Santa and the Wise Men and other giftgivers fork out. Likewise, I’m
sure many of these people ordered their Christmas dinners before they
disappeared. Many fairy folk have a standing order, same stuff one year after
the other for centuries, milleniums. When their caterers show up, I mean to see
to it the food is consumed. I don’t believe in wasting food. Do you?”
“At least he has revealed his intentions,”
muttered Mr. Blake. “I should have imagined what they would be.”
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