They did sing for a full hour, finishing the last of their songs with a flourish just as the clock struck one. By the time Alpin had tired of protesting and thought to sit down and listen patiently, there was only standing room to be had in the shop. He had been so busy trying to outscream the duo that he hadn’t noticed how a small crowd had crept into the shop and taken the few seats available. Some of those present even began to sing along when they knew the words, and all save Alpin clapped enthusiastically and shouted bravos when the music was over.
“You are lazy, Henbeddestyr Parrry, and in all likelihood, good for nothing. Your business will fold up before the Gregorian year is over and we’re but a few days from December already. You´ve a horde of clients in here and if you’ve asked me, the first in line, what I need, it must be pills that cure the stone deaf I’ll have to ask for, for I haven’t heard you do it. Now, don’t waste any more of your time and ours and tell me what I must buy to cure two bad colds.
“Are they as common as you are?” ventured Taffy.
Alpin was about to say he was not common at all. And he would be speaking the truth, for if there was something he was, it was uncommon, a fact everyone rejoiced in. But before he could speak, Henbeddestyr dashed a Welsh triad at him.
Now this is not a dard of any kind, nor anything warlike. It is a way the Welsh have of linking three things whenever they can. It was a triad that greeted clients on the shopwindow at the right of the entrance door, and now Henbeddestyr offered Alpin one about how to cure a common cold.
“Three things are enemies of a cold: proper clothes, the right diet and short nails.”
“You see? You’re a lousy salesman. I can’t buy any of that here. Show me a potion I would give you good money for, you incompetent prima donna. What’s that you’ve got there?”
Toying with a doll-like form that dangled from a shelf, Henbeddestyr answered, “Ginseng. You could try ginseng for a cold, for it reduces upper respiratory infections. But it’s got side effects. It can increase hormones and affect your blood pressure and cause insomnia and worsen anxiety if you take it with tea or coffee.”
“Like I said, you are good for nothing. You make your clients sicker than they are.”
“To begin with, you haven’t got a cold at all, have you? If you feel as if you are about to catch one, I suggest a piping hot cup of ginger tea, which can stop a cold dead in its tracks. Or you could try astragalus. If you down a bowl of astragalus soup once a week during the cold months, it’s not likely you’ll catch a cold at all. It also helps if you eat fermented cabbage, like sauerkraut or kimchi. Being exposed, as you are, to people who do have colds, lad, I would take two or three drops of extract of echinacea to avoid contagion.”
“How do you know I am exposed to contagion?” asked Alpin.
“Give Taffy the note you’ve been clutching all the while and he’ll fetch every item on it for whoever sent you here with it.”
“You know why I don’t need your services or ever will? Because I take a lot of vitamin C. I have a hundred dozen oranges every morning for breakfast. It takes my mother and my sisters about an hour to make my orange juice. You see how my mum does love me? What’s that in the little bottle you are fiddling with?”
“Essential oil of oregano. You put some water into a difuser and a few drops of this into that and a candle beneath it all and thus produce a mist that helps you breathe when you feel congested. It’s the first thing on your list. Garlic is in it too. I can offer you the odourless kind if it is for someone who isn’t into the Mediterranean diet. Let me see what else you’re here for. Hmm. Honey, propolis extract, organic apple cider, essential oil of eucalyptus...Let’s get all this packed, Taffy.”
“Ha!” cried Alpin, turning around to see how the other clients were taking such leisurely attention. “It’s just like I told you! Your clients are gone, your shop is deserted. You’re sure to fold up, Henbeddestyr. There’s no saving you.”
“The crowd was here for the music,” said Henbeddestyr. “We like to share our food for the soul.”
“For free? Of course. Who would give you anything for howling in an alternative language? I noticed they didn’t throw pennies at you or anything. Not that you deserved them in my opinion.”
“I’m still here, Mr. Parry. Should I give you a coin?” said a soft little voice from the long green bench.
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