The Jealous Merrow
Lira Anadyomene’s Wonders of the Seas Pub
The new pub was by the ocean. It had a spectacular sign with a mermaid and some fish on it, painted on the finest sea glass by a very grand artist, and personal friend of the owner, Anthony Possun -Alys, whom I might have more to say about another day. There was a mermaid on the sign because the pub belonged to Lira Anadyomene, Michael’s pathologically jealous sister-in-law, wife of Finbar O’Toora, the toymaker addicted to his work.
Lira had been advised by her psychiatrist to find an occupation that might take her mind off her obsession with her husband. Hence, she had opened a pub for sunken mariners. As Mrs. Parry was quick to point out, what other business could Lira open?
Yes, Mrs. Parry was there, dressed in a purple gown with a necklace of solid gold falling stars cascading from her neck. Mrs. Parry always wears the loveliest necklaces. Just as she has the puffiest platinum hair.
“Are you saying something mean about my cousin?” asked Alpin when he heard her comment.“Because if you are, I want to know so I can tell my mum. She’ll be happy to hear it!”
Mrs. Parry opened her painted bee-stung mouth to answer, but nothing came out of it. It was the wise witch Sabatica who answered for her.
“What we are saying,” Sabatica, always teacher-like, explained to Alpin, “is that one does well to open a business one knows something about. Now, what I have just said is knowledge worth money. Keep it in mind if you ever have to go into trade.”
“I don’t see too many sunken mariners around here,” said Alpin, gazing about the place, where in fact, there was only one, the Roman ghost Nauta.
What the pub was full of was lovely Christmas lights, glowing and blinking, lighting up the sea-green walls, the driftwood furniture and even the huge and beautiful shells turned lamps and dishes and candleholders.
“Gentlemen merrows are very jealous creatures who keep the sailors that drown in cages at the bottom of the sea so they won’t mess with their wives.”
“Are you saying Lira opened a pub for clients who have no access to it?” asked Alpin. “That’s what she knows about business?” He wanted to know what sense that could make.
“Well, not all dead mariners fall into the hands of married mermen. And those that have can place an order by phone and have that delivered to them by dolphin. In any case, money is not the reason why she opened this club. She doesn’t need to make money. Her father is the monarch of the seas. His riches are infinite as the ocean.”
“She should have stayed at home counting them,” sniffed Alpin.
On the counter right next to the silent cash register sat a huge crystal ball like a pearl within a clam-shaped container. If you peered inside the ball you saw the workaholic toymaker Finbar O'Toora at diligent work.
"He created this article for me so I can watch his every move from here. This helps me concentrate on my job," Lira was explaining to Wise Sister Spiridoola.
"You don't know how lucky you are," said Spiridoola.
Spiridoola had with her the tv set she had taken to Glorvina’s tea party. She told Lira that irremediably lost somewhere within it was her husband, Donald. The set was as old as television itself, one of the first sets ever made. Donald entered it to explore the educational possibilities of television and never came out again.
“You’ve never even seen him again?” gasped Lira.
“No,” sighed Spiridoola. “But once in a while I hear his voice. He always says something educational. Like Finbar, he was really into his job.”
“Oh, Spiridoola, I so hope he will be able to come back to you again one day! Why, it would be so nice if he could now come home for Christmas!”
“The bunch of loafers that are not at all into their job are the blokes sitting at that table,” said Alpin, pointing directly at the persons he was criticizing. “What are you doing here, you lazies? It’s your high season, you should be at work!”
“’Tis the season to be jolly! Fa la la la la la la la la!”retorted the loafers
“Woof!”
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