63. Oranges From China

Fiona and Branna’s gift excited great curiosity among the Minced Forest Fairies. We had never heard of Feng Shui, the Chinese art of putting things in the right place so that harmony will reign and everything go well. It was a new idea to us that if you decorated your home following certain rules, your life would change for the better.  

Prime Minister Mungo Binky asked if he could be present during Michael’s  session with the Feng Shui Masters. There was no room for more papers in his office and visitors always found the place depressing. He was thinking of remodelling it.

“These people might give me ideas,” he said. “If I like what they do for you, Michael, I might hire them myself.”

“If the timberfreak is wanting to remodel his headquarters, we must be present during this session too,” said the Leafy Elder Malcolfus to Michael. “He might want to chop our forest down to make more shelves for his archives.”

Michael agreed to allow one of the leafies to be present if he agreed to pretend to be a flower on Michael’s lapel and be convincing about it. The Leafies suggested sending Pelagius, sneakiest of all their tribe, on this mission and he appeared on Michael’s lapel without anyone’s having noticed how he had gotten there.

Fergus MacLob O’Toora insisted on accompanying his son. According to him half the people who held that they had special powers and offered to fix your life or give you advice in exchange of money were frauds. He wanted to be present so he could unmask the Feng Shui masters should they be false. The fact that one of the Feng Shui masters was named Foo Ling only fed Fergus’ suspicion. In his opinion, Michael and the Dullahan twins were too gullible to fend for themselves.

 “And take your pupils with you too,” insisted Fergus. “They might learn something.”

So when Michael walked to his appointment with the Feng Shui Masters he did not walk alone. In fact, he was accompanied by an ever growing crowd which included Mr. Binky, Pelagius, Fergus and Don Alonso and Sancho and Alpin and me.

I was present on Mum’s behalf, to keep an eye on the  P.M., and also on my own behalf  because I felt curiosity. Alpin wanted to know if a gift certificate like Michael’s was worth having with a view to asking for one.

 "This is it?"

Michael couldn’t believe his eyes. He had arrived at his destination and was standing before a fruit shop, with crates of kumquats, lychees, water apples, nipah seeds, dragon fruit, bayberries, kaffir limes and many other exotic fruits on display by the sides of its door. There was a large sign above the shop with Chinese characters on it and below them was written something that turned from one language into another right before our eyes up to eight different languages: Oranges From Cathay. It seemed to be the name of the shop.

“The fruit shop is just a front,” said Fiona. “The office is luxurious on the inside, but is hidden underground so the gods won’t see it. Chinese gods are very envious and if they think someone is doing better than they are, they spoil things for that someone.”

“That’s just like the Greek gods too,” agreed Nauta, the Roman ghost, who had been invited to tag along by Fergus because he could be counted on to fight if a conflict should arise.  

“Wisteria Tai tai!” sang Branna, peeking through the door. “Are you in there? We’re out here!”

   

Wisteria Tai tai, or Mistress Wisteria, was a very beautiful fairy in a long green robe with lilac flowers in her violet black hair. She emerged from the fruit shop cuddling an enormous white rabbit dressed like a mandarin in her arms.

“Greetings to you all from my grandfather, Master Foo Ling, and myself, the fairy of the wisteria flower. Grandfather and I are ready to assist you, Michael O’Toora. Your cheeky friends may all be present. After all, this is free publicity for us.”

                                 

“Sniffle, sniffle,” went the rabbit clothed in purple and gold silk.

“Your grandpa is a rabbit?” asked Alpin incredulously.

Wisteria explained that many oriental fairies liked to take the shape of animals and that her grandfather was in the habit of taking that of the animal of the year.

“What do you mean by animal of the year?”

Wisteria said the Chinese calendar was a twelve year calendar. Each of the years in a twelve year cycle was represented by a different animal. People usually shared traits with the animal that represented the year they were born in.

“I,” said Alpin, “think it’s silly of your grandfather to pretend to be an animal when he can be a person. We’re better than they are.”

“Not all of us,” frowned Wisteria. “Turning into the animal of the year keeps my grandfather in touch with the times and makes him stay young. And Grandfather has a great sense of humor.”

Michael said he was glad he had not come earlier. It would still have been the year of the tiger.

“Among us, there are also those who like to transform themselves into animals. I have a cousin who is fond of  turning himself into a horse.”

“You mean Garth, the Pookah, don’t you, cousin Michael? He’s one mean fellow, he is. Is your grandfather an ordinary critter too, Wisteria?” asked Alpin.

Wisteria decided there had been enough small talk and it was time to get on with business. She said the first thing that had to be done was determine if Michael’s house was in harmony with him. To know this, she first had to find out which was his trigram.