How To Find Your Way in Minced Forest

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Saturday, 4 April 2020

78. Plans for Yet Another of Michael’s Halloween Parties

“I have a plan, Thistle,” I had heard Heather whisper to our sister. “At four hundred mortal euros a pea, it will take twenty nights each and a total of forty peas and we will have recovered the money our parents spent at The Poultice.Think of all the fairies who will be able to let themselves be kidnapped so you and I can rescue them.”

“Aren’t we being shortchanged here?” practical Thistle whispered back, counting on her fingers. “I thought the peas were worth six hundred mortal euros. Oh, I see! The other two hundred are the profit the restauranteur makes.”



When I next saw my sisters,  Heather and Thistle were dragging themselves to The Poultice. When I say dragging, I mean they could barely walk. And they looked frightfully wan and haggard.I have never seen my sisters look uglier. Actually, I had never ever seen them looking ugly at all. They took turns carrying a little tray with four peas on it, and to see them do this you would think they were transporting a sack full of rocks .

I understood at once that the girls had been sleeping on peas for two nights in a row and that this truly could kill genuine princesses.

Aghast at what I was seeing and afraid that they might faint before they reached The Poultice, I made them let me carry the tray for them and followed them there. That was when we saw the sign that said the restaurant had been closed by Alpin.

         
“I’m sorry, your highnesses,” said Santichu Semeurtzi, the Spanish Basque fairy who owned the restaurant, “I know I promised to, but I can’t keep my promise to buy your peas.” He was a big, strapping fellow who loved to joke and was always humming and smiling, and whistling while he worked, but that day he looked as if he had been to a funeral.“A changeling has folded up my business.”

Standing outside the restaurant with Santichu were Michael and Fergus. Michael wanted to know why Santichu hadn’t reserved the right to refuse admission.

“The boy came with Death’s Coachman, who told me I was prejudiced for not allowing changelings in my restaurant. He added that if I insulted his kid he would take me for a ride. So I thought it would be prudent to let them in. But when they had finished half of what I had stored in my cupboard I asked them politely to leave. Then Handsome Darcy appeared and asked me very kindly to let his little brother finish having lunch. Since there is no saying no to Handsome Darcy, well, the changeling finished his lunch and everything I had in the restaurant, to the last grain of black rice. They even got me to agree to be paid with one fairy pence, which, as you probably know, is like toy money, and only an illusion of the prime minister’s. Here, up till then, everybody had always paid in gems, gold ingots or mortal money.The boy said it had been a peerless pleasure to eat here and he was sure to be back and become my most faithful client. With a threat like that hanging like Damocles’ sword over me, I will never be able to open this place again. And now I will probably have to go on welfare. Has Binky invented fairy welfare yet?”

And that is how Vinny did away with a gathering place for darksiders. But Fergus felt sorry for Santichu, who was really full of light himself, and decided to give him a chance to get on his feet again, though more humbly.

                    
“My son is giving a Halloween party. He leaves everything for the last minute and to the date still hasn’t seen to providing refreshments. Could you cater for him? Michael, be kind to this jobless cook and hire him immediately.”

                         
Michael said that if he left things for the last minute it was in the hope of not having to give the Halloween party. But since it looked as if he would have to, Santichu could consider himself hired.

And Santichu proved game. He was a vocational cook and the idea of organizing a party thrilled him. He said he would go off  to search for vittles that very minute. He thought he would probably be able to get hold of a few pumpkins, but since it hadn’t rained much there might not be enough mushrooms. And the squirrels had probably gathered up all the nuts in Minced Forest by then. What he could guarantee were the drinks. He had two cellars and Alpin, unaware of that, had only visited one. Since he never sold alcohol to minors, Alpin had only left him out of milk, pop and fruit juice. In the second cellar, the one that Alpin had no knowledge of, Santichu had countless varieties of mead and whole barrels of wheat grass juice well stored.

“But the party is at night!” cried Michael. “If you serve wheat grass juice cocktails, Troy will burn! I see it coming!”
                         

But Fergus and the Leafies all joined in one big “Hooray!”

When I told my parents how Heather and Thistle had tried to help with the bill, my parents were touched.

“So you’ve gone without sleep for nights and earned nothing by it,” said my dad. “But I’m sure it’s for the best that Alpin put an end to your A Princess Slept On Me Pea business. You look frightful with those dark circles under your eyes. Titania, one would think they are scarecrows.”

“We’ll keep the peas in the safe as if they were emeralds,” said Mum. “Sooner or later someone will want them.  I always thought that tale about peas causing insomnia was pure nonsense. How wrong I was! But I’ll tell you something, girls.All is not lost. You look so awful we can save on money for your Halloween costumes. Just go as yourselves to Michael’s party. You’ll put the zombies there to shame.”

“Oh, no!” cried Dad.

“Aren’t you the one who looks on the bright side of life, Obie? Well do that!” retorted Mum. “If you don’t like zombies and you think they look like scarecrows, they’ll go as scarecrows.”

“And after that we can sleep all we want to and grow pretty again?” asked Heather.

“After that you must sleep more than you might want to,” said Mum. “I don’t want scraggy daughters a day after Halloween! There’s no excuse for having them!”

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About Me

My blogs are Michael Toora's Blog (dedicated to my pupils and anyone who wants to learn English and some Spanish), The Rosy Tree Blog (dedicated to RosE), Tales of a Minced Forest (dedicated to fairies and parafairies), Cuentos del Bosque Triturado (same as the former but in Fay Spanish), The Birthdaymython/El Cumplemitón (for the enjoyment of my great nieces and great nephews and of anyone who has a birthday) and Booknosey/Fisgalibros (for and with my once pupils).