88. A Teaparty for Cannibals

It was almost noon on a beautiful summer’s day. My sisters Heather and Thistle were heading home after having gathered fruits and berries in Minced Forest to make healthy deserts with.

                               

A shadow fell on them. As they looked up to see whose it was, Salty Boogerbeard loomed before them, blocking their path.

                                  

“Hullo, little girls!” he said. “I couldn’t help hearing you know how to cook. Don’t say you don’t. No shaking your heads, I heard you say you were going to make jams and jellies. If you cook for me, I will give you all kinds of delicious tropical fruits to take home with you later. Papaya, mango, horned melon, passion fruit, lime, kiwi, mangostan, pineapples and starapples and other kinds of apples hardly anyne has ever heard of. Is it a deal?”

The girls were scared, but they tried not to show it. While Heather looked right at the pirate and gave him their answer, Thistle stealthily picked a thick branch from the ground and held it behind her back, ready to attack should it be necessary.

“We only know how to bake cakes and cookies and make ice cream and tea sandwiches and food like that,” said Heather, rightly guessing that was no food for a pirate.

“What I need is more like for a cannibal’s dinner than a tea party,” sighed Salty. “But this is an emergency and I am desperate.”

He began to tell the girls how his cook had spitefully walked out on him the night before and had to be replaced before the sun set.

“Why don’t you speak to Fiona Dullahan?” suggested Heather. “She’s the daughter of Death’s Coachman and lives in that house right there.” Heather pointed at the Dullahan home which could be seen pretty well from that part of Minced Forest. “She loves to cook and she’s a darksider like you.”

Salty Boogerbeard’s stunning new face brightened. His brand new teeth gleamed white as he gave Heather a gorgeous smile.

“The powerful Salty Boogerbeard owes you one, sweetheart,” he said, and he headed off for the Dullahan’s house with gigantic strides.

“Heather, how could you send that guy to Fiona?” cried Thistle, when he was out of hearing distance. “He’s dangerous!”

“Fiona once told me that if I ever had trouble with someone from the dark side I should send whoever it was to her. Fiona’s a vampire. And her father is more dangerous than anyone else except the boss he works for. She will know how to deal with this.”