90. The Oven With an Attitude

 Salty was able to get Fiona to help him with the inaguration of his Bumps’ Island casino. He promised her a hefty sum and total freedom to do as she pleased in her territory, and when her food was a success with his friends and clients, he promised her even more if she stayed with him and took permanent charge of the kitchen.

Fiona had never been made a good offer in her life, for everyone was scared of her, and that was what made her accept. For once she felt sort of appreciated and wondered if she might not find fullfillment at Bumps’ Island.

Salty did need Fiona, and his experience with his former cook had taught him that chefs are to be pampered. He was very careful to flatter her and abstain all he could from upsetting or offending her. But little by little she began to see that the doubts she had felt before accepting his offer  were justified. And though she mostly kept to the kitchen, she couldn’t help observing how inadequate his acquaintances were.  

One morning Fiona told Salty an oven he had recently bought was  beginning to cause trouble.  

                 

“I warned you not to buy this oven,” said Fiona. “It’s acting up like I feared it would.”

 “What? You chose it yourself,” said Salty.

“You made me choose one from among those Magpie had in her shop. I told you one cannot trust the appliances Magpie sells. But you said she owed you a favor and had to give you a good bargain,” insisted Fiona.

                         

“That bird would never dare try to gyp me. It’s a perfectly good magic oven. Industrial. Larger  than a huge fridge and full as full of trays. Magpie did give me a very good bargain indeed. Tried and true. That’s what this oven is. New magic ovens have to prove their worth. But this one has a great record, which is what one looks for when one buys a  magic oven secondhand.”

“I know it’s best to buy them old and proven. But I...I think it’s too... temperamental. Let’s return it, Salty. I don’t think it’s what we need.”

                       

Salty would not hear of returning the oven. Instead, he began to remove its trays and poke inside it.

“There seems to be nothing wrong in here. This is probably just a question of  some crumbs blocking a tube, supposing this kind of oven has tubes. No need to call anyone or pay a cent. I’m sure I can fix it simply by blowing.”

“No, don’t do that,” said Fiona. “Call a technician. You don’t know how magic ovens work.”

“I know the only person who knows how a magic oven really works is the person that created the oven. And who knows where that person is?”

“Return it, Salty. I will ask my cousin Finbar to make us a safe oven. He made my brother Alpin’s magic fridge.”

Before Fiona finished speaking, Salty jumped inside the oven. And the oven’s door slammed shut behind him with a sinister bang. And then, to Fiona’s horror, the oven turned itself on.

For a second Fiona froze on the spot, unable to move or shout. Then she raised a stiff hand, but before she could touch the oven, its door opened gently, just as it had closed, all by itself.

Trembling, and from a safe distance, Fiona peered inside.

                           

“He’s a cookie!” Fiona gasped.  “Oh, Salty! You’ve been turned into gingerbread!”