304. Butterflyweight

304. Butterflyweight

“So that model of hubris said to you that he would himself recover the big wig for you, but then he sent the babies to go find it. And to the Poison Path, yet.”

“Don’t tell me all that. I know as much about it as you do, and your raving only serves to infuriate you even more. You don’t unburden yourself when you speak out, AEternus. You work yourself up. And all about nonsense. I instead know very well that my son is watching those babies just as you are spying on him. Nothing will happen to them. Besides, that path is called Remedy Road. You yourself gave it this name when you allowed certain plants to grow there. Don’t go changing its name now.”

“Fine, but don't you go telling me what I also already know either. Plants aren't to be judged by the use fools make of them. Well the kids haven’t remedied a thing. They’ve been poked fun at.”

“You are the one who allows the Jocose fools to drop by the island now and again instead of expelling them from here once and for good. The bird sent the babies to that place to provoke the Double W Guardians. The Jocose jokesters hate the guardians because these don’t allow them to pluck plants there for their gross and unsavory pranks.”

“That rara avis is no Jocoser, Divina. As usual, you don’t catch on to what’s happening. That bird is your favorite son-in-law’s court jester.”

“Kevin?  Isn’t he a little old to be flitting about disguised as an odd bird?”

“Soon we shall know. He’s going to take a spill any second now. That branch won’t hold him up much longer. If he doesn’t get up when he bites the dust, well, that will mean he is old. He will have to sleep a while to recover. But why does he have to break branches off our trees to make people laugh? It’s not funny!”

“That happens because you don’t boot that scoundrel from the island for good. Come, do sit here in this luxurious armchair, right before the mirror. Seeing as we are in a beauty parlour, I’m going to massage your head. I’ll do your scalp, neck and shoulders. A bit of healing energy will do you good. So you can relax, because if not you’ll work yourself into throwing a fit and just because of the ridiculous big wig.”

“Well...I do like the massages you give me.”

“Of course. They are one of the pleasures of life.”

And AEternus took a seat at Malvinio’s beauty salon and allowed himself to be calmed down.

Meanwhile, Azuline, Rosendo, Anemone and I, the intellectual Leafy Little Dolphus, left behind the Poison Path or Remedy Road, as it is officially called, and once again ran into the Weird Bird that had fooled us. He was still sitting on the same branch.

“What? How did it go with Willibald and Winnibald? Did they have the big wig?”

“We return empty-handed and red-faced. Because you made us feel and look ridiculous, and made us offend two innocent creatures. You´ve fooled us, perverse bird!” I said to the Weird Bird.

“I? Aren’t those two in need of a wig? They could perfectly have swiped yours.”

“It’s not ours. ´Tis Brushland’s. Listen, you wouldn’t be the bird that stole the wig, would you? It has just occurred to me that you could be.”

“Certainly not! Does it look to you like I am in need of a wig? What with my beautiful red hair!"

“What you are in need of –“

I didn’t have to say more. My Apple Island cousins had understood very well what the rare bird was in need of. Three of them sprang at a time from the top of the tree to the branch the weird bird was perched on. They did this shouting “Mock butterflyweight, eh?”

The bough broke and the bird crashed to the ground, taking a fine thump when he bit the dust. My cousins, who are very light but incredibly strong, picked up the branch and adjusted it once more to its tree, begging pardon for the trouble they had caused it.

“Well, so you’ve been avenged now, haven’t you?” said the  bird. “And I have done nothing but try to be of help to you. I’m sorry it didn’t go well for you with the Double W Guardians.”

“Yes, now you sure are sorry. But not before,” said Azuline crossly, as she watched the bird rub his coccyx.

“Look, to compensate for your trouble, I will suggest you visit another possible wig thief. Bejewelled Pietro is a collector. And a capricious fellow who always must have the best. Why don’t you ask him if he has your big wig among his? He has more than two hundred. Some are of solid gold thread. Others, of platinum.”

“And who would that be? Another weird bird or bald fellow?” asked Rosendo.

“Neither one nor the other. He is the pampered grandson of Titania´s jewellers.”

“Let’s see what sort of mess you get us into now!” I scolded.

"If I had known I would have visitors, I would have worn a different look than that of my great-aunt's widow's weeds."