316. The Original Owner of the Outrageous

316. The Original Owner of the Outrageous

When out of the water, the Lady of the Abyss didn’t look monstruous for long. In fact, she slowly began to look rather pretty. Rosendo, who had been quietly present among those present all this while, combing poor Calamus´ hair of reeds gently, felt a strong urge to do Lady Abysmal’s hair too, but that was the only mean thing that could be said about her looks, because it did need some combing.

“Can I have the ship? Now that the malefactors will be freed, the ship will be up for grabs, won’t it? Please give it to me. Don’t auction it, or anything like that, because I haven’t a penny to my name. That’s precisely why I so need the ship. I have no treasures down below in this lake. When he asked me for a wondrous weapon, I was only able to give this enterprising grandson of yours, Lady Divina, a hoe and a hammer.”

“Both rusty,” nodded Esmeraldo, giving faith and testimony.

“But what cheek! Really, Abysmal!” exclaimed the Lady Celestial. “How can you even think a marvel like this galley could end up in a hick lake like yours?”

“My lake is deeper than anyone’s. It may not be large in the sense of extensive, but there isn’t a deeper one in both worlds! And who would think of seeking for such a treasure in a hick lake like you say mine is? It should be safe here.”

“Word always gets out,” warned the Lady Celestial.

“We’ll defend it right and proper, for fierce and ferocious everyone knows the Abysmals of Lake Jittery are. Woe to those who dare try extract the ship from our lake!”

“It’s Esmeraldo’s prize,” said the Lady Celestial. “You can’t deprive him of it. He won it fair and square. In a dastardly way, but fair and square according to the laws of piracy.”

“But I don’t want it any longer,” said Esmeraldo. “I´m bored. I’m tired of being a pirate. Now I want to be a customs officer.”

“What are you saying? We haven’t got anything like that in our island!” huffed the lady Celestial.

“All the more reason for me to be one. I shall be the first! And I am leaving it clear from minute one that I mean to accept bribes. Generous ones only, though.”

“Keep speaking innovative nonsense like that and you’ll end up sleeping in a little girl’s garden next to a fellow who tried to humanize us,” warned the lady Celestial.

And the lady Divina intervened to explain how things were at Apple Island.

“Practically all things enter and exit freely at their owner’s will in Apple Island. If someone tries to bring in something unsuitable there are always meddling neighbours who put a stop to it, like your Uncle Gen, who controls Chickenbroth Mortar, or Pestle, or whatever that local bad boy’s name is. He is allowed to move possibly wicked stuff away from the island, but he isn’t permitted to bring anything noxious into it.”  

“Chickenbroth what?” asked Esmeraldo.

“Don’t give the boy ideas, Divina,” said the Lady Celestial. “You may not be aware of it, but you have just introduced him to that hoodlum.”

“Not to worry. I wouldn’t cooperate with that bloke,” said Esmeraldo. “I don’t need to. I needn’t fear competition. I’m the best there is at being bad. He’ll be out of the game as soon as I begin to play mine.”

“Can I have my ship or can I not?” pouted the Lady Abysmal, who was getting impatient.

“In truth, that ship belongs to Splendida, who is Richie’s fairy godmother and let him have it. I think that, if we no longer have use for it, it should revert to her. It’s her you should be asking,” said Lady Divina to Lady Abysmal.