12. Clothes Enough For Fairies

While Alpin was refusing to learn how to divide, my mum and dad were visiting Minced Forest. They were both there because they wanted to meet Artemius and let him know that their status was higher than his and they could therefore do as they pleased in this territory. Artemius was no local tyrant and readily swore allegiance to my parents with only one condition. This was that they would respect the forest as much he would. In truth, this was quite unnecessary. Fortunately for everyone, my parents are very respectful of forests. Vandalizing forests is certainly not one of my parents’ favorite pastimes, so there would really be no problems.

One of my parents’ favorite pastimes is bickering, but only with each other.

And that was what they began to do the minute they spotted one another in the forest.

My mum is considered by many to be a bit of a show off. But it’s not so much because she needs to look better than others. When she has something nice, she just likes to call attention to it and have it admired. For its own lovely sake, not to make her look better than others. But my dad simply can’t bear to hear my mum boast of what she has, which is what he thinks she is doing. Anything she has, he has to have too, if not better. This time it was about clothes. At least it was to begin with.

My mum and dad always try to order their seasonal wardrobes in great secret from each other. But this year the tailor in vogue was a Greek named Lukinotakis, and both of them knew it. Lukinotakis was all the rage and it looked like he would have more orders than he would be able to handle.Both my parents threatened to get to the tailor before the other and flood him with orders so he would be unable to take any more.

Puck is famous for circling the globe in a twinkling, but my mother has No no Darcy for a coachman. And he was already parked outside Lukinotakis’ shop waiting for it to open the next morning. Very sure of herself, Mum pronounced there was nothing more to be said on that subject or any other and flew home because she wanted to go to bed early that night.

My dad reproached Puck for not having thought of being there before Darcy, first in line. Puck murmurred something about how a spiderweb and a snake’s skin are clothes enough for fairies. But my dad said he was tired of getting everywhere after my mum and that he was going to steal Darcy from her and hire him for himself. Puck was gravely offended.