59. The Flying Kaphre

                  

                         

“Binky ahoy!” cried the Leafy Magnus, who was on duty as sentinel that day.

Mr. Binky had entered Minced Forest and was strolling towards a clearing there. Heather and Thistle materialized on the spot, right behind Mr. Binky.

                         

      

 “Prime Minister, freeze!” Heather hollered at her loudest.

Mr. Binky stopped dead in his tracks when he heard her.

“What is happening?” he cried in alarm.

“When are you going to ransom Arley?”

Mr. Binky listened attentively when the girls explained that Arley was being held for ransom and that there was no time to lose. Then he said he would see to the matter as soon as he had issued himself a passport. He said he would love to solve the girls’ little problem as quickly as possible but that he was on his way to Wonderland to see someone who couldn’t wait.

“You, sir,” said Thistle, “are going nowhere but Ananas Island.”

“That island has to be uncharted. I’ve never heard of it.”

“It’s next to Bumps’ Island and everyone has heard of that,” said Heather.

“Oh, yes! That infamous island is legendary. But you know how it is with legendary places. No one really knows where they are.It might take us weeks to find it.”

            

“We’ll sail through the drain in Alpin’s swimming pool,” said Heather, “and ask the dolphins there to take us to Ananas.”

“Little girls, if you want results, speak with Fergus MacLob O’Toora,” suggested Leafy Malcolfus. “Leprechauns are experts at negotiating ransoms. That’s what they have pots of gold for.”

“Right!” said Mr. Binky. “That’s what you ought to do. So carry on. But remember, I have to issue all the members of this expedition passports before it parts.”

“Ship ahoy!” hollered Magnus at the top of his lungs.

Mr. Binky looked up at Magnus.

                                                                                                                              

“Ship ahoy? In a clearing in the middle of a forest?”

Sick of waiting for Mungo Binky to authorize himself to leave the realm of fairy, and with good reason to fear that Alpin would interfere irremediably with the sustainable development of his island, the pirate Salty Boogerbeard had taken to sea in his ghost ship, a galley, with a crew of animated skeletons, and with his four prisoners, one of them an apprentice tyrant.

                       

 Alpin had insisted on banging the drum that gave the beat for the crew to follow.

“Row! Row, I said, you losers! Halloween and its goodies await me! I don’t want to miss out on that because of your bloody incompetence, blasted idlers!” he yelled to the beat.

               

Under threat of a mutiny, for the boatswain had informed Captain Boogerbeard that there would be one, the pirate had had to order Alpin to stop harassing his crew. His men didn’t find Alpin’s nagging as funny as the pirate did.

And as for Michael...

When poor Michael heard Alpin mention Halloween he realized that it was late October and he might arrive home just in time to hold his annual Halloween Party. He raised his eyes to the sky and began to call on St. Barbara up in heaven. 

“Twenty euros for your faithful poor if you allow a bolt of lightning to sink this ship!” he prayed. “I’ll make it fifty if I don’t get home in time for my party.”

                          

In case you don’t know why he called on St. Barbara, I will explain that people pray to her so she will keep them safe from lightning, just the opposite of what Michael was asking for. 

St. Barbara’s beautiful young face appeared among the clouds like a star and she shook her haloed head and said she was sorry, but it was too late for that. Perhaps another time.

And it was late indeed. The Flying Kaphre landed with a crash in the clearing in Minced Forest.

“Did you see that?” asked Leafy Frankie. “The ship almost squashed Binky.”

“But it didn’t,” said Vinny dryly.

“Well, I warned him to get out of the way,” pouted Magnus. He sounded as if he were not sure he had done right.   

“Greetings, Mr. Port Authority!” roared Salty to Mr. Binky. “When there’s water, we sail, when there isn’t, we fly. Haven’t you heard of The Flying Kaphre?”

“Frankly, I would have hoped never to,” said Mr. Binky. “I don’t like to go through experiences like this one. What can I do for you?”

                                      

    

Boogerbeard’s answer couldn’t have been more mysterious. “Don’t ask what you can do for me. Ask what I can do for you. You’re going to love what I have to say to you, chum.”

“Hey, sailors! Hey everybody! Free drinks!” screeched Alpin suddenly. “Spread the word and follow me straight to the Jealous Merrow’s Pub. My cousin Michael will hold his annual Halloween party there!”

                          

“Spread the news like fire!” cried the Leafy Magnus. And everyone did.