How To Find Your Way in Minced Forest

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Wednesday, 31 May 2023

245. The Honorable Mr. Momo and the Peach Boy Five


 245. The Honorable Mr. Momo and the Peach Boy Five

When we returned from chasing after Spikey, who spat at us three just as we had all expected, and who almost bit me because I reproached him for it, we left Candle with her grandmother in the kitchen of Gentle House, since she was hopping mad with Spikey, whom she now regarded as an ungrateful wretch, and didn’t care to confront Uncle Gen just then in case he said he had told her so and she couldn’t take that and would kick him in the shin.

Aunt Mabel went straight to the gallery where her husband was having afternoon tea and began scolding Uncle Gen, just as she had been mumbling she would do all the while we were away.

“How could you even think of taking two babies to the  McDonald Islands on an empty stomach?”

“There must be a McDonald’s there, don’t you think? It sounds like there should be, no? Now they have food for vegetarians.”

“Why do you interfere? Do as your father does and turn a blind eye!”

“Ah, he doesn't turn a blind eye when he sees a chance to foil me. That girl is very little, even if she is a shrew,” Uncle Gen justified himself.

“Impose the social contract on a two-year-old! You’ve busted Candle’s friendship with the Prickly. Are you happy now?”

“That was no friendship. She only wanted to dominate him.”

“And you have liberated him, or what?”

“No. That kid only put up with her because he wanted to bleed her. He’s a leech. Even so, I only wanted her to see it’s not easy to raise a kid.”

“How can you know? You never paid any attention to ours.”

“Because our daughters have their own interests. Neither you nor I could ever have led them into a library. Only Nicky Sweetquill can make them read books. Kids have a will of their own. And some kids have nasty dispositions from day one. Let me tell you something. That Spikey and I had already had a showdown before he pretended to befriend Candle. Brightfire and I were having coffee and doughnuts one fine day outside his forge when the imp appeared hanging from a tree. He asked us to treat him to a doughnut, and we were going to, but we asked him first who his parents were in case they had an objection. The kid spat at us both. Then Fi wanted to treat him to a puff in the face. And I had to hold Fi back.”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake! Tempest and fire against a three-month-old babe!”

“Laugh, if you will. But consider that if I had had to drench Fi to restrain him from charring the kid, Fi would have boiled me. That kid almost got us to quarrel among ourselves. I’m sick and tired of clashing with Pricklies. There is nothing that can be done about them. They are indomitable and that is that. The only one who knows how to deal with them is Evenfall. He lends them a hand when they allow him to and lets them do as they please when they please. Believe me, Mabel, that horrid kid would have caused us no end of problems. Us includes his mother. I mean, that includes Candle. It’s best he’s gone. She knows it is. She’s smart. I’m sure she has already understood this.”

“And this cute doggie?” asked Aunt Mabel, for Crispin was licking her ankles.

“That is Crispin. He belonged to the Brightfires. But now he wants to be ours.”

“But…well! Not only do you separate Candle from an inconvenient friend, you also steal the little girl’s doggie. Seriously, Gen?”

“Certainly not! Here animals are free to choose whom they wish to belong to! And this dog prefers me, because I call him by his rightful name, which is Crispin, and not by an inadequate nickname. What is Sparky about this dog? And he will love you too, Mabel, because today you are acting strung up, but normally you are as flat as he is now. Crispin only wants to live in peace. And that’s not possible at my brother’s place. This dog is a herder. He was made to look after others and keep them safe. He is always on the look out for possible dangers. And it is his nature to protect his own, be they cows or sheep or other dogs or his fairy people. At Fi’s everyone is always boggled or in distress. Where is that kid? Why are you burning the curtains? The roof has  flown off!  The fridge has exploded! My hair is on fire! And now I rant spectacularly because I feel like raving! No wonder Crispin is worn out. Not to worry, Mabel, I will compensate my nieces and nephews. I’ll find them a truculent dog that will bark louder than they do and frighten intruders away before they or someone else gets scalded. After all, aren’t dogs supposed to resemble their owners?”

“You are saying I married a corgi? I will leave you for impossible too, my dear,” said Aunt Mabel. “Agapeton!” she called out and her black labrador retirever, who had been lying quietly under the table, came up to her. “Do you think we should invite this corgi to live with us, Agapeton?”

Agapeton nodded, though his head was a little lopsided from lying for hours on the same side, and the matter was happily clinched.

“Arley had better have tea with you, Gen. He has to be famished. Did the green soup upset your stomach, Arley? Is grass boiled in salty water safe to eat, Gen?”

“I’m not sure. I don’t like chlorophyll or too much salt in my food. I prefer vitamin C and sugar,” answered Uncle Gen. “Go ahead, Arley, serve yourself some tea with lemon. Equal parts of tea and lemonade, that’s how I like it, and the sugar is already in that. And start by eating those cheese and tomato sandwiches I just made, more stuff is due from Granny and her kitchen.”

“Listen, Gen, tomorrow me must send a load of food to the Munificents, so they can do whatever they please with it,” Aunt Mabel interrupted Uncle Gen.

“I already did that,” said my uncle, “as soon as I got here.”

After tea, Uncle Gen and I went out to the garden for a walk.

“I want to find the tree Melissa was born in,” said my uncle. “I have to speak with the bees that adopted her. I’ve already spoken with your mother. My idea is to move that tree with its beehives and all to one of Titania’s gardens, one that she has ceded to Melissa so the child can play at being a gardener. Bees are very useful creatures, and I  don’t want Melissa to get out of touch with her bee relatives. Not everyone can get along well with bees. It’s an advantage the child has, and should keep.”

“Those beehives probably produce good honey. You will lose a useful tree.”

“I didn’t even know it was there. Had I known, I think I would have discovered Melissa the day she was born.”

It pleased the bees to move to Mum’s palace and we were able to take the tree to Melissa’s garden. The child and the bees were very happy to be together again. So all was right. Mum invited Uncle Gen to dinner and he accepted her invitation but said we first had to drop by his father-in-law´s golf course to speak with the Peach Boys. It would only take a moment.


The Peach Boy Five are quintuplets, sons of a sister of Belvedere the Mnemosinite and a Japanese bewitching spirit who is a poet and a manufacturer of fine paper. We call him Momo San, meaning, we believe, Honorable Mr. Peach. Momo San was a guest at my Name Day Party and he gave me a writing set and a great big lacquered document box with one hundred and thirteen sheets of paper of different sizes and colours, all exigent. Exigent paper is paper that won’t allow anyone to write, draw, paint or print something that is not excellent in its way on it. A curious poem, an exquisite drawing, that yes. Vulgar or indecorous stuff, never. It can be a rather cross and unfriendly censor, but it does push one to do one's best.  

Momo San is usually quiet, because he has a problem that is similar to Uncle Brightfire’s. Neither of these two men can communicate easily. Uncle Fi doesn’t speak to certain people because he can’t avoid using profanity or expressing opinions that are not popular. Momo San speaks seventeen languages but can barely be understood in any of them. This is so because the man cannot regulate the tone of his voice. He either shouts like crazy, frightening people, who flee as fast as they can from him, or whispers so softly that most folks can’t make out a word he is saying. They become impatient, and leave him to himself as soon as is politely possible. However, Momo San and I understand each other pretty well, for I can boast of having as fine an ear as moths have. Even so, we do make some use of sign language and face-making to communicate.    

For some reason, Momo San can speak clearly and sweetly to his wife, who is the only one who can live with him. Such is the power of true love, I suppose. But their kids moved next door, to their Uncle Belvedere’s house, to be more comfortable. That is, to Mabel’s father’s home. Mabel’s grandparents gave their five children an enormous lot of land in Apple Island. In the middle of it, the Memorion built his ideal house. One of his four sisters built hers north of it, another south, a third west and the fourth, Momo San’s wife, built hers east of her brother’s, so she is still at a stone’s throw from her children. Or at one of Momo San’s lesser shouts. 

The Peach Boy Five all have fantastic names that get on the nerves of those who aren’t poetically inclined because they are as long as a haiku, and are in fact, really haikus. This makes most people confused, and as a result they confuse the five boys, though they are all very different from each other, and these kids have ended up being called Ichiro, Jiro, Saburo, Shiro and Goro, that is, One, Two, Three, Four and Five. One of these days, and it will be soon, I will learn those five haikus and call them by their extended names. These kids have a younger sister whom everyone calls Cami, because her name is a haiku about a Camelia. This one I already happen to know.

Profoundly pink Camelia

Who blushes purple

when kissed by the moon god.

The Peaches recieved me well, because though I haven’t had much to do with them, we already knew each other, having coincided at parties and at football games and archery matches. They were eager to show me the golf course, which is not as grand as Grandpa’s, but looks friendlier and less standoffish. The boys spoke to the gate of the golf course and to the rest of the doors there too, and told them to open whenever I wanted them to.

“Who is this Fisipki?” I was asked.

“I don’t know him well, but now he is Demetrius Richearth’s son.”

 “Ah, Deme San!” whispered Momo San.

 “We were at Uncle Richi’s wedding. So now he has a son?” said Goro.

“Feeseepkee  seems… a little… old to be such a recent son. And he is a little…strange. But you will soon get to meet him. And I, too, will get to know him better, because we haven’t seen much of each other, but we will now. Grandpa asked me to teach him to play golf. I suppose that will be the way to get to know him better.”

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About Me

My blogs are Michael Toora's Blog (dedicated to my pupils and anyone who wants to learn English and some Spanish), The Rosy Tree Blog (dedicated to RosE), Tales of a Minced Forest (dedicated to fairies and parafairies), Cuentos del Bosque Triturado (same as the former but in Fay Spanish), The Birthdaymython/El Cumplemitón (for the enjoyment of my great nieces and great nephews and of anyone who has a birthday) and Booknosey/Fisgalibros (for and with my once pupils).