252. Pull, Draw and Attract

252. Pull, Draw and Attract

I was seething. I was thinking what a mean fellow the devil was. Or was he? Of course he had spared me having to go to hell for Elucubrius and Bunglemore, but would I have? I mean, I knew I had a problem, because I had to stop Uncle Richearth from visitng hell to retrieve them, but I hadn’t had time to think how I would do that. And I certainly hadn’t thought of having a plastic bag with these two derelicts on my hands.

“Who are these people?” my brother asked me. “Do you want me to cast them back into hell? I can lug them to Hater’s Well and dump them in there. The current will do the rest.”

I stared at him but said nothing. I wasn’t ready to.

“Arley, are you in a trance?” Cathsheba asked me. “Snap out of it!”

I did, and I explained to her and to Atty who Elucubrius and Bunglemore were and how I had no idea what to do with them. It was tougher to explain who Tansy was because I wasn’t sure about that.

“And this fellow who frames paintings for you, well he could just be a poor devil who is no devil but only an unfortunate artist who is being used by dark forces. But then again, he might be the devil himself.”

“That was the guy who just left, wasn’t it?” asked Cathsheba.

“Maybe. But he could be this one too, and be giving us double toil and trouble.”

And then the black cat decided to take things into her own hands.

“Out of here, both of you, artist and devil!” hissed Cathsheba at Tansy, kicking his suitcase. “Nobody fools with me! Here´s what you get for trying to pull my leg!” And she kicked both of Tansy’s shins.

When she had kicked his suitcase, it had opened, and some of the art supplies he kept in it had spilled out. Among these I saw the magic pencil Tansy was supposed to give me. So did he, for he picked it up first thing and flung it at me without saying a word. I thought I might as well take it, for maybe by doing this I would break the link between us. So I sent it home, to my rooms in the palace.  

“Thank you,” I muttered.

Tansy didn’t say a word. He finished packing  his bag and disappeared.

I found I was feeling sorry for him. What if he really were nothing but a poor fellow who had fallen into a deadly web and was being used and abused by fiends? Thinking of webs brought me quickly back to another of my problems. Feeseepkee’s problem, actually.

“I can’t cure our conflictive cousin,” said Cathsheba. “I’m really sorry about that. I have checked  his irises and he doesn’t have an infection. It’s something else. It does seem to have to do with the thread they sewed him up with. But it is more like an allergy or an intolerance to the thread.”

“They are going to have to undo what they’ve done? Remove that thread?”

Cathsheba shook her head sadly.

“I wish I could be of help. But all I can think of saying is that you’ll have to speak to someone who knows about reactions to four hundred year old spider web thread.”

And then, when I was feeling completely overwhelmed by the circumstances, Aunt Nekutarin came to the rescue.

“Forgive me for spying on you,” she said,  popping up before us, “but I strongly suspected you would need my help.”

“Yes!” I cried out. “Please!” 

That is just like older fairy people. Instead of minding their own business, they are always spying on the younger ones in case these need help. And once in a while, we are actually  grateful.

“Michi michi, Shebie San,” Aunt Nekutarin said to Cathsheba, who came up to her and fondly  put a paw – that is, a hand - on Aunt Nekutarin’s shoulder. 

"Nyan nyan," said Shebie, and I noticed they knew each other well.

“Don’t worry about the thread,” continued Aunt Nekutarin.  “We can fix that. The problem is these two people in the bag. Arley, call your uncle this minute. Gentlerain,” she said to me, “not Richearth. Hand these men over to August San before Demetrius San sees them or goes seeking for them.”

“I was thinking to. But won’t Grandpa be angry? He doesn´t like it when Uncle Gen solves problems for him. Shouldn’t I be the one to come up with a solution?”

“What can I do to help?” offered Atty. “Maybe we needn’t call anyone.”

“You can keep out of the way,” Aunt Nekutarin said to my brother. “One who doesn’t interfere is already helping.  Arley  will call Geni San. Your grandfather will be upset anyway. He is probably already breaking his golf clubs over his knee. Don’t worry about that. They fix themselves automatically. Back in one piece in a minute. When he is really angry, he can break them as many times as he likes. Not to be too concerned. It's better than casting bolts of lightning.”

“Knowing Grandpa, he is probably cursing the devils for having dared to return these fools to him. He can go too far. We have to do something before he does, Arley,” said Attor.

“Just turn those two into mice and I will eat them,” said Cathsheba, staring at the wretches in the bag with her gleaming cat’s eyes.

“No way!” protested Attor. “And stop scaring them. You don't eat cat food! And they are frightened enough as is.”

“We already have a solution, so stop looking for one,” said Aunt Nekutarin firmly. “Call your uncle right now or I will do it myself, Arley. He knows how to make people disappear. You work with him, don’t you? Do you have a bee line to him, or a red phone number or something?”

I did, and I was already calling, hoping it wouldn’t be a bad moment for it.

Uncle Gen appeared before I could even speak to him. He must have brought an invisible helper or two because the garbage bag got lifted up in the air horizontally, as if carried by both ends, and then vanished.

“That is at least out of the way,” he said. “Auntie, I will go to Jigoku and bring Dr. Matasano here.”

“NO!” said Aunt Nekutarin. “You’ve done your bit! Now get out of here. Quickly, Geni!”

“What? Why?”

“Because this is no place for you to be. And take your nephew with you.”

“Come, Arley,” Uncle Gen began to say.

“Not that one! Atty!”

“Me? Why me?” asked Attor, now surprised too.

“You are to promise, both of you, not to even watch what we are going to do. Not even in a crystal ball.”

Uncle Gen and Attor exchanged an uncertain look.

“Do as I say!” commanded Aunt Nekutarin. “I know what I am doing.”

Uncle Gen nodded, and he and Atty vanished.

“You shouldn’t be here either,” said Aunt Nekutarin to me. She turned to the Leafies in Cathsheba’s hair and said, “Nor should you. You are all male, those present here, aren’t you?”

A little voice suddenly asked, “Are you going to call the Entangling Newlywed Woman?”

“Hush!” said Aunt Nekutarin to Baby Dolphus. As an intellectual, he could guess what was about to happen. And then she asked me, “What do you know about  women?”

“What? Oh! Well, last February, I learnt... some, because -”

“I see,” said Aunt Nekutarin, and she turned to Cathsheba. “I am going to call Lady Hiku. Do you have a problem with that, dear?”

“No,” said Cathsheba. “But can’t we leave her out of this?”

Aunt Nekutarin shook her head.

“Listen, Arley,” she said to me, “Lady Hiku always goes everywhere with what looks like a lovely little boy. He is so bright and healthy-looking that anyone would be proud to have him for a son. When Hiku sees a man she wants to eat, she says out loud to the little boy, so that everyone can hear, that the man is his father and the child should ran up to him and give him a kiss.”

“Eat?” I asked. That didn’t sound right.

Aunt Nekutarin nodded. 

“The little boy is not her child nor anyone’s. He isn't even a real little boy. He is her way of disguising her spinnerets. When the boy hugs and kisses someone, that someone ends up wrapped in spider silk. If Lady Hiku’s  victim is mortal, she will bleed him to death when she pleases. If he is fay, he just stays wrapped till rescued, if ever. For our blood is too clear and transparent to nurture her. I have sent your brother and your uncle away because they are bound to rise to the occasion should things get out of hand and  put up a fight and the last thing we want is to offend Hiku. I will send these herbal gentlemen away too because if they get lost in the thread there will be no finding them,” she said, signalling for the Leafies to leave.  “If you want to stay and see what happens here, you must promise not to think for a minute that the spinnerets are your son,” she warned us.

“I don’t,” I assured her.

“Even a second of confusion can be fatal. My advice to you, Arley,  is to try and look as young and innocent as you can. And you Leafies can hide inside the house and try not to be seen if you peek through the shutters.”

“Why are you summoning this dangerous person?” I asked.

“Because she is the only being I know who possesses the antidote to the poison that taints four hundred year old spider web thread.”

“What about Feeseepkee? Won’t he be in danger?”

“Feeseepkee knows instinctively how his children are born and what they look like. And Hiku will know what Feeseepkee is the minute she sees him. They are of no interest to each other.”

“I’ll stay outside and watch from here,” I said. “If I peek from a window she could detect me and be offended.”

“You must promise to let Aunt Nekutarin handle this,” said Cathsheba.

“I promise. And I will make myself look younger than her supposed kodomo so there is no way I could be his father.”

I made myself look three years old.

“Will this do?”

“Yes. The spinnerets look like a five year old, so I suppose it will, won’t it?” Cathsheba asked Aunt Nekutarin, who nodded her approval.

“If all goes well, Lady Hiku won’t drink your blood now or ever. She doesn’t eat people she met when they were children, unless they have offended her gravely. That’s why I want you to meet her. If she approves of you, you will be safe from her forever. Should you ever meet again, remind her of this day and you will be safe.”

And then Aunt Nekutarin produced a little cloth bag, and from this she drew a very fine, almost invisble thread. She laid it on the ground and began to trace a spider web with her peachwood wand in the earth. She did that like when drawing  a magic circle, except that neither we nor she were within it. As she worked, she hummed. And when she was done, she sang:

“Pull, draw and attract, you and I have a pact! Come to honour it, for so have I. You needed me once, and come did I.”

 The little thread began to trace Aunt Nekutarin's drawing of a web and when it was done, rose up, getting longer and longer as it moved skywards. It coiled and coiled into a gossamery cloud and a lovely, fragile-looking  young woman began to descend from this on the thread. Clutching her apron strings was a fine little boy.

“What can I do for you, honourable and much esteemed Madam Nekutarin?” asked the lady bowing reverently once she touched the ground, landing directly in the centre of the drawing of the web.

While Aunt Nekutarin explained to her what she needed, the Lady Hiku's eyes raced speedily about her delicate face, taking in all that was before her as if she had eight eyes instead of just two. And then, she transmogrified into a semi-spider. 

She grew eight legs, and her child did too. The little boy began to move towards us, floating away from her body. He came up to me and I was about to jump back and turn invisible when I saw he only wanted to give me some strange sticks burnt black and some golden balls, spongy and soft to the touch. Aunt Nekutarin quickly stepped between us and took them from the child. She thanked Hiku San profusely, and Hiku bowed and said this was nothing, for she still owed Aunt Nekutarin many favors. Then the spider lady and her supposed son disappeared.

As soon as the Entangling Newlywed Woman was gone, Uncle Gen and Atty appeared before us.Aunt Nekutarin, who was retrieving the thread she had laid on the ground and erasing the drawing, was not too happy to see them.

“Ah! You are here too soon! Liars! You promised not to be spying!” scolded Aunt Nectarine.

“One day you have to tell me that woman’s story,” said Uncle Gen. “Since when is she a newlywed?” 

“She weds anew every time she is hungry. Don’t even joke about her, Geni San. You know it's not a good idea.”

“I only want to know what made her the way she is,” my uncle said. "This is just déformation professionnelle. Was she born like that or did something bad happen to her?"

"Some things bad have happened to you for studying monsters up too close. Forget about the spider and her past! Learn from yours!" chided Aunt Nekutarin.

“Do you want to know more about Hiku too?” Cathsheba asked Atty.

“No!” he said firmly. 

“Now I will teach Cathsheba to make an antidote for the poison on the suture with these ingredients. You want to learn, don’t you, Shebie?” said Aunt Nekutarin.

Cathsheba was eager to learn, and so were the rest of us, including the Leafies, and among these, especially Little Dolphus.

And that is how I learned to sterilize four hundred year old spider thread. Of course, the tough part is getting the spider lady to give you the black sticks and the yellow balls, so I hope I will never need such an antidote ever again. Aunt Nekutarin would not tell us what those ingredients really were. Frankly, I am rather glad I am not acquainted with anyone else who could.

When we were done, Aunt Nekutarin put the resulting concotion into a silver and glass bottle and told me Feeseepkee had to take a sip on an empty stomach, preferably when he got up in the morning, during eight days, one for each spinneret.

Before we left, Attor sadly trailing behind us, Cathsheba said to her lover, “You can stay and have dinner with me. All I have is a couple of mice in the fridge, but there’s that.” And then, when she saw our faces, she laughed, “Don’t be shocked. They are made of coconut.”

When we were leaving, I looked back once. I saw not one, but two black cats now basking in the moonlight. Ah, and my sisters can give you the recipe for coconut mice.